


Everybody Wants To Fuck The Druid

by Cena



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: A lot of sex, Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Play, Balcony Scene, Balcony Sex, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Cunnilingus, Ejaculate, Exhibitionism, F/F, F/M, Female Ejaculation, Lesbian Sex, Multiple Orgasms, New Kinks, Oral Sex, Public Nudity, Rough Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sex Magic, Tail Sex, Tailjob, Threesome - F/F/M, Threesome Planning, Vaginal Fingering, but i got horny so let's enjoy the ride, sexy fic, this is really stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-10-21 13:08:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17643425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cena/pseuds/Cena
Summary: Exandria, a few years after the sealing of the Undying King. A world at peace, or at least a relative one. And in this peace, three couples find themselves having very similar thoughts; all while fucking, all involving a particular Voice of the Tempest...A story in 3 chapters and 1 epilogue, watch as several people in the world discuss the idea of having a threesome with a lonely girl. Tags for other relationships and sexy tags will be added as the rest of the chapters are added.





	1. Demonic Suggestion and the Tail of Doom!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written smut in years, and the first time I've publicly posted said smut. Aren't you all special.
> 
> Anyway, hope it's to your liking, or a laugh, or whatever. I'm so sorry.

“Y-yes. That’s right, darling, just there…ooh, perfect~”

Zahra Hydris was used to her husband’s tongue. The texture, the heat, the wetness…everything about its physicality could be taken for granted. What Kashaw _did_ with said tongue, however…well, he was full of surprises. Every time he pressed his tongue against her dripping cunt, it was trying something new and exciting. Granted, not every move he made would drive her over the edge and into blissful climax, but damn if it didn’t make her feel special.

So special, in fact, that she couldn’t help but gasp as the tingling through her body reached its crescendo. The orgasm snuck up on her, and in her excitement to feel even more of Kashaw's face on her nethers, she pressed down on him, truly ‘sitting on his face’, as he’d so eloquently put it. Kashaw might give her shit about nearly choking him later, but, well…he _had_ insisted on this position. Zahra leaned forward a bit, stroking her lover’s hair before moving on to her sex, if only a moment, to take a sample of her juices for her own eager tongue. Yes, it was a bit narcissistic, but who gave a damn? It was her nectar to enjoy, as much as Kashaw.

“Babe, you might actually smother me.” Sardonic as ever, even in lovemaking. Kashaw was nothing, if not consistent. “Seriously, the heat is ridiculous, even for a tiefling! Gimme a rest before round 2.”

Kashaw loved eating her out. Zahra wasn’t about to argue, considering he was so damn good at it. Still, though, he deserved a treat.

“My Moon, I adore you, but you should really take something for yourself, other than the satisfaction of my orgasm,” chucked Zahra, as she looked over her shoulder at Kash’s trousers, where there was quite the tent being pitched. “I’ll tell you what. You give me more oral pleasure, and I’ll put my tail to good use.”

“H-hold on. Are you offering me a tailjob? You never do that.” Kash dropped the sarcasm and looked hopeful. At least, she thought he did. His eyes certainly looked it, framed by her legs and bristly groin.

Zahra smiled down at her beloved. “It’s only fair. I can’t be the only one coming tonight, and you _do_ seem excited by the idea-“

“Okay, I’m ready,” he cut her off, hastily removing his trousers behind her. “Let’s do this.”

Well, he was ever so eager. Zahra hadn’t even registered his renewed vigor before she felt him start sucking on her clit. The moan that escaped her mouth was long and satisfying. She was still sensitive from the last orgasm. There was nothing left to do but to stay true to her word.

Tiefling tails were varied and had all sorts of quirks. Zahra’s thin red tail had an arrowhead-like tip, perfect for smacking fools, but also for gripping and wrapping. As she felt Kasha’s tongue start to explore her inner labia, she groaned, using her open mouth to lick the tail and lubricate it a bit. No sense doing this without some help. She looked over her shoulder.

Kasha’s cock was everything she could ever want. Nothing long; length was for lesser beings. It was thick, almost as thick as her wrist, perfect for stretching her open when he deigned to put it inside her. The thought of her licking the head entered her mind; _that_ particular challenge would come later, as it were. For now, however, her tail began its work.

She teased him at first, slowly dragging the tip of her tail up and down his shaft. Kashaw’s moan vibrated into her, adding just a bit more to the swelling feeling. He clearly wanted more, and why deny him his prize?

Next here his balls. Zahra’s tail brushed against them, as well, and she gave the lightest tap she could muster to the sensitive area. That earned her another groan. “Babe, just fucking jack me off already!”

Well, he demanded it.

Her tail wrapped around his shaft, like a living rope. One moan.

Zahra took care to keep a firm grip and began manipulating her coiled tail, working the shaft. Another moan.

It was like a handjob, really, and she knew what Kashaw wanted from a handjob. So, she obliged. She started pumping faster. Up and down, up and down. She loosened up a bit, letting his foreskin rise and fall over the head of his cock. She turned her head again to see her handiwork, smiling at the sight of precum starting to flow and lubricate even further.

The sight was mesmerizing, all things considered. From her angle, it felt more illicit, like someone else was pleasuring her husband while he ate her out greedily. Zahra had never thought to consider adding a third to their escapades, but the thought was now consuming her, egged on by her building climax. She imagined herself and Kashaw sharing the task of fucking a third party. Hands frantically working on a clit together, brushing against ginger hair. Their mouths at each of their lover’s nipples, tugging and sucking on the sensitive nubs together, pushing Keyleth over the edge-

_…Keyleth?_

Why exactly Keyleth’s climax-ridden face had come to her in that vision, Zahra didn’t know. But it wasn’t unwelcome. After all, the Voice of the Tempest was one of the most gorgeous women on Exandria. Kashaw hadn’t done her justice when he first described her, all those years ago, after his trial mission with the Slayer’s Take.

Back then, she was just a meek druid, though a powerful one, amid the other members of Vox Machina. Time and crisis would soon help push her to her potential, until she became the Voice of the Tempest, leader of her Ashari tribe, and one of the ones to seal the wannabe god Vecna away for good.

Keyleth had lost a lot through those years of saving the world, including the love of her life. From everything that Vex’ahlia had told Zahra, the druid put up a good façade, but there was still a lot of heartache, even now.

“If you ask me, she could definitely use a little-“ Vex had said, ending with a noise meant to signify ‘a good shag’. (Her children were nearby at the time.)

Maybe a look in? A visit to Zephyra, a hello, a proposition of group sex…you know, a normal vacation!

Imagining the look on Kiki’s face as Zahra’s tongue lashed over her cunt…it was doing wonders for Zahra. Her tail gripped even harder as she pumped Kash roughly, rough enough to get a grunt out of him.

“Oooh, babe, you’re getting feisty!” he said through the groan, hot air escaping and tickling her sex. “We should do this more often.”

“Less talk, more fucking me with your tongue,” was all that Zahra managed before he obliged. She was so close; her juices flowed down her thighs with earnest. “A-actually, darling, I…haaah, I had a thought that…that youuuuuuu might enjoy…”

No response. Lips on a clit. He was listening, but not stopping. She pressed on.

“What do you saaaaaah-ha-ha-haaaaay…ooh, yes, more of _that_ …what do you say to a special…addition…to our fun? Namely…a friend for uuuussssnnnnnnnngh…to share?”

 _That_ ilicited a pause. Zahra silently cursed as Kashaw stopped. “This came out of nowhere. But I’m listening.”

“Make me come out of nowhere while I tell you what I’m thinking!” Zahra didn’t mean to make it so snappish, but she earned a look from her husband, one of ‘Oh, yeah? We’ll see about that’. She felt his mouth on her clit again. Time to try to articulate.

“Well, I was thinking it could help add some variety to the bedroooooooohahoom, and I had just the person in mind…she could really use a pick-me-up, and…and us…making her squeal…in ectasy…could help herrrrrr…” (The end of that word slowly became a satisfied purr.)

Kashaw was still focusing on her cunt. She felt the climax coming. Her tail went into overdrive, sliding up and down the shaft with fervor. This made Kash lick harder. Which made Zahra’s tailjob speed up further. She tugged at her right nipple, pulling her breast hard and gasping at the ecstasy the pain brought

“I…I thought we…could share…oh, Sirius, I’m…I’m com…I thoughtwecouldshareKEYLETH-“

Zarha felt her inner thighs moisten rapidly as the climax took her. She rode it out, grinding Kasha’s lips with her own lower ones. Her nipple would be raw by the time she let go, as her vicegrip on the sensitive nub helped ease her into further climaxes. A moment later, she felt a hot liquid splash her bare back; Kashaw’s hips bucked into the orgasm, as more and more of his seed hit Zahra’s back and butt.

The waves of pure bliss subsided, in time. Zahra lifted her leg over her lover’s face and settled into bed beside him, admiring his own panting visage. Kash’s eyes were bugged out, clearly still feeling his orgasm. After a moment, his breath became deep, and turned to look at the red tiefling next to him.

“Keyleth. Voice of hot air, stick-in-the-mud, party-pooper, hot-as-fuck Keyleth, that’s the one, right?”

Zahra’s smile gave way to a worried look. “It was…a silly thought-“

“I’m in.” Kashaw smirked. “If she accepts, that is. And if she does, dibs on making her cum first.”

“Unjust, unrealistic, and not happening.” Zarha grinned. “Though, if you do what you just did to me…”

Kashaw winked as he kissed Zahra passionately, mounting her as he did so. She felt the cock enter her slowly, stretching her in the way she adored. The image of Keyleth groaning as Kashaw pushed into her cunt soon followed, and Zahra imagined putting her own tongue on Keyleth’s clit as the ginger was pounded senseless by Kashaw.

If that could happen in reality…now that would be _sensational._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: a wizard and a pally explore a special kink.


	2. Climax at the Ivory Tower!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura and Kima break the newly-rebuilt Ivory Tower in with a new kink.

Being a port city, Emon often felt the cool breezes that came with the sea’s proximity, especially at night. Even in summer, it was not difficult to find at least one person complaining that it was far too cold for their taste.

Arcanist Allura Vysoren was not one of these people. Far from it; she enjoyed the breeze, especially from on high at the balcony of her Ivory Tower. It was one of the many perks of being a high-ranking member of the Council of Tal’Dorei and the Arcana Pansphacle, owning a beautiful tower in the Cloudtop, one that Allura enjoyed. No damned dragon was going to take that away from her, thank you very much. Vorugal, the Frigid Doom, may have destroyed it during the Chroma Conclave’s initial incursion upon Emon, but time, money, and an expertise in powerful magic helped bring it back. Today, in fact, was the day she was allowed re-entry after all the repairs had finished and the enchantments had been fully realized.

In other words, move-in day. Whitestone was a lovely city, one where she and Kima might find themselves retiring to one day, far in the future, but not now. You could take the girl out of the city, but very rarely will you take the city out of the girl.

New experiences and interests, on the other hand…those can always pop up. Which is why Allura found herself on her balcony, overlooking the city of Emon, simply enjoying the breeze on her body. Her nude body.

The chill swept over her as the robe fell. She shivered for a moment but acclimated to the cool air quickly. Allura felt her nipples harden as the breeze swept over her breasts. Everything about this sensation was gorgeous; every sensation on her skin left her wanting more, though you couldn’t get much more naked than she was now. And she was naked in the open air.

In a city. Full of people.

Granted, it was about one in the morning, and most of the New Cloudtop was asleep. Besides, from her angle, the only other district who could see her was the Temple District, and they were the most pious people this side of Vasselheim.

That thought disappointed Allura. After all, what’s the point of exhibitionism if you have no witnesses for whom to exhibit? It was in the damned name.

* * *

Allura didn’t know where this new carnal desire had come from. Historically, she had been a very private person. Who else would buy a tower but a secluded wizard with no social life? Even her own wedding to Kima had been a private affair, with not even her best friends in Vox Machina having been invited. Granted, they were scattered to the winds at the time, but still, not the point. The only thing she knew was that she hadn’t stopped riding Kima’s face when that Pale Guard gunsman had found them in the shed (at least until Kima had asked her to); in fact, she’d continued, and apparently given the poor young soldier a daring look as she moaned and cupped her exposed breasts. He couldn’t run away fast enough.

The conversation with her wife afterward had been somewhat embarrassing.

“You’ve got a kiiiiiiiiiink,” chortled Kima, delighted at the idea. “You’re a kinky slut~.”

“Stoooooooop,” was all Allura could manage from behind her hands, which had nearly worn into her face.

“Hon, it’s okay. Everyone’s got a kink! It was just time for you to find out that yours was letting other people see you fucking.” Kima hopped off the bed and walked to Allura’s side, lying next to her wife on the floor. (It wasn’t the first time the embarrassed wizard had taken to the floor to cope.)

Allura didn’t move her hands. “It…but…whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why that?”

Kima chuckled. “Hey, people are into some weird shit. Drake’s into candlewax, I hear Salda was _quite_ the dom to Uriel…and, of course, you know me and my love of the ol’ buttfuck.”

The wizard chuckled. She remembered the night where the Council and Pansophacal members had gone for a few too many drinks at the Laughing Lamia and spilled some high-level sexual secrets. And Kima really _did_ like insisting Allura use Alter Self to give her some anal pleasure more often than she realized.

“Yes, but, still. It feels…wrong,” Allura said, finally taking her hands off her face. “And yet, it feels so right.”

“I mean, you were the one that insisted that you ride my face as a bunch of kids trained with Percy’s boom-boom tubes nearby.” Kima’s smug face forced more red onto Allura’s own.

“I th-thought the blasts would be enough to cover the noise I’d make.”

Kima intensified the smugness. “And yet, you didn’t bother keeping that volume down. I’m good, babe, but I don’t usually make you scream that much when I lick your bean.”

That comment earned a bit of rolling back and forth from the Arcanist. For someone who didn’t exercise as often as she used to, it was impressive. When she stopped, she found a pair of rough hands on top of her own, and allowed Kima to lift her hands away from her face. The kiss that followed was deep and loving. For all the roughness that had forged Kima into a legendary paladin, the tenderness hidden beneath was one of Allura’s favorite things.

They broke apart. Kima patted Allura’s cheek. “Allie, I love you. And I will help you explore this new side of you, at whatever pace you want. Though, maybe a bit slow. No need to invite half of Emon to watch us 69 just yet.”

Allura smiled warmly. “…yes, that seems sensible. Half the Cloudtop, though…”

Kima snorted.

* * *

 

And so they’d tried a bit. There were times they nearly got caught. One particularly tense meeting with a fisherman’s guild leader about finding a magic solution to a poisoning problem became even more tense the closer Allura got to climax. (Kima was hidden under her dress, under the desk, toungefucking her wife into bliss, at the exact same time.)

“I would think the concerns of those who drive the economy of this city would be a bigger concern for a high-ranking Council member! But you keep looking away…it’s like you’re not here!”

“Right there, yes-I mean. Riiiiiight _then_ , I said. I will fi-hi-hind you a solution soon, my good sirfuck. I did not mean to curse there. I am. You are right, distracted. But I wi-hi-hiillllll…”

A moment. Then another. Allura’s face was flush, betraying her attempts to look stoic in the face of a blissful orgasm.

“…so sorry, what was the question again?”

* * *

 

It truly had been one of the most satisfying orgasms in her life. Easily within the top 5.

Thinking about it left Allura wanting more of that bliss. The air wasn’t going to be enough, and Kima would be here soon…why not have a little fun while she waited?

She traced a finger around her clit. Little circles at first. Just to tense up a bit. Allura’s fingers were soft, carefully taken care of by years of being very careful. Masturbation was always a fun affair with Allura, and Kima adored the feeling of those soft digits deep inside her own cunt. Allura imagined Kima’s moans, moaning herself as the little circles became slightly bigger, pulling back her clit hood slightly and letting the air blow over.

Shivers. Not just from the cold.

The familiar wetness started flowing slowly from within Allura’s slit. Her fingers sought the nectar, but before she could start exploring, Allura felt another set of fingers, more calloused, rougher, start rubbing against her lips.

“Couldn’t help yourself, could you, Allie?” Kima cood. She was not entirely nude, wearing a loose dress-shirt, open and undone, and very little else. Allura felt the hard nipple of her wife’s pert breast press against her skin.

“You dawdled,” Allura said defiantly, reaching behind to caress her wife’s face as she spread her cunt open. “See to it that you don’t fall behind.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Kima loved it when her wife took charge. Taking care to spank Allura’s buttock (earning a satisfied yelp from the human mage), Kima made her way around to the front of the nude wizard. She was entranced by what she saw. It wasn’t anything new, Kima had kissed the coarse blonde hairs of her mound and the pink of her pussy dozens of times in the last year alone. It was the moonlight casting an, for lack of a better word, alluring alabaster light to her wife’s skin that sent her over the edge. Kima didn’t think much as she started planting kisses on Allura’s clit.

Oh, Allie wasn’t even _trying_ to pretend like that moan wasn’t intentionally loud. Kima smirked and got to work.

Allura loved what Kima could do with her mouth. All of it, really, from the barbs and sarcasm she used on any foolish soul that opposed her, to the way she took her sweet time to plant kisses all over her mound, teasing her despite her open attack just moments prior. “Kima, darling, do _not_ do this to me. Please eat meeeeeeeeeeeeee-“

It’s all Kima was waiting for. Allura’s frustration at not getting what she wanted was always cute, moreso when she was denied Kima’s talented tongue. She fixed that with a long lick up the arcanist’s lips, using the tongue to slightly open her inner lips further.

Allura’s juices flowed, their taste mingling ever so subtly with the open sea air. It was delicious, and Kima wanted more. Slowly, her hand drifted closer to her wife’s cunt. One finger found its way easily in, earning a shudder from Allura.

“Fu-u-uck, yes…Kima, dearest, pleasefuckme…fuck your wife in the open air, bring me to climaaaax so that I can scr-eaaaaaam your naaaaaaame…”

_Oh, that’s pretty fucking hot,_ thought the halfling. She kind of understood why Allie liked it now.

“Over the balcony. _Now_.” If Allie wanted a climax, she’d get the best damn one Kima could muster. And she did want to be seen, even from a distance.

Surprised, all Allura could do was stutter. “O-o-over. The balcony.”

“Yeah. Bend over it! Use some magic to make sure you don’t fall off, mind you-“

“I can’t fall off, there’s an arcane net over the-that’s not the point!” Allura’s face was flush, even in the moonlight. “I don’t…I mean…I want it, but…”

“…but you don’t wanna ruin your reputation just yet.” Kima couldn’t help but grin. “Don’t worry. I won’t pressure you if you don’t want to.”

Allura smiled warmly. Kima was always so good to her. She was patient, understanding, and the best friend Allura could ever ask for.

“…I do have a _Silence_ spell. And with some tweaking…well, let’s just say I can be as loud as you like and not have to deal with the Emon Enquirer in a day’s time.”

Kima grinned. “You know, I don’t get any of this arcane crap, but I sure as hell love it.”

* * *

 

It took time to reconfigure a spell. Even a skilled Wizard like Allura had difficulties with spells outside their realm. “Illusion magic, you understand,” she said, as she traced the glyphs, still quite nude.

All Kima could manage was a “uhuh” as she watched Allura’s hypnotically hanging tits. They were the right size to sway as Allura crawled around, finishing the magical formula.

Allura gave her a knowing look and a wiggle before getting up. Kima shuddered in glee.

Fear overtook her for a second, however, as she saw Allura open her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Remembering what they were doing, Kima stepped closer.

“...uncertain, as it’s a trick to even do this…did any of that get through?” Allura asked nervously.

“Not a peep, except the last bit, but I didn’t get that bit, either, so what’s the difference?” Kima grinned. “Now come on, I owe you a big orgasm.”

Allura practically ran to the balcony. The light from Exandria’s twin moons gave her a glow as she, as seductively as she could, bent over the thick rail. The smug look on her face as she beckoned Kima over with her finger…the trail of juices flowing down her leg…

Kima lasted a second before she dove right in.

“Ooooooooh…yes, Kima, darling…” Allura wasn’t silent at all. Her croon could probably be heard as far as Greyskull Keep, or it would have been, had the spell not been active. Encouraged, Kima licked in earnest, delighting in the heat as Allura shuddered. She didn’t want to stop tasting her wife’s nectar.

Allura grunted and screamed. Everything was coming together, as it were. Her wife, passionate and excellent at eating pussy, the cool breeze, the idea that if something went wrong, _someone_ might see…it was all getting to be too much. She felt herself getting closer to the edge of climax, edged along by fingers starting to probe into her core. Those calloused, rough fingers, grinding the slick walls of her aching pussy, thumb and toungue mercifully rubbing against her aching clit…Everything was perfect, nearly perfect…

Even in the bliss of near-orgasm, Allura couldn’t fail to spot it. She’d turned to start screaming Kima’s name as she reached the peak, but the small orb of light caught her attention. For a moment, she was alert, every bit the paranoid woman she’d been since Fort Daxio, and ever earlier than that, if she was honest. But then she recognized the signature. Scrying always carried a signature, and this one…

Well, she’d better enjoy the show.

“K-Kiiiiiii-hiiiiiima….I’m…I’m gonna………”

She had no more words. All she felt was wave after wave of pleasure as her she reached the peak, higher than any before. Kima felt it, too, as Allura’s core clamped them. The sudden torrent of juices squirting out and onto Kima’s chin and chest caught her attention, too. Neither were enough from stopping her, though. Allura was riding this one out, both figuratively and literally, but why stop at one orgasm?

Before she could contemplate the last few moments, Allura felt herself rapidly approaching a second climax. “YES YES KIMAAAAAA…… YESSSSSSS, MAKE ME CUM FOR KIKI ONE MORE TIME………”

The second orgasm was more intense than the first. Kima’s fingers were almost being suctioned in deeper as Allura’s slickness dribbled down Kima’s front. _Another satisfied Allie_ , she thought.

* * *

 

After several moments, Allura finally turned and collapsed, sitting reclined against the balcony. Her chest heaved as she took deep breath after deep breath. She might have run a marathon. It would be several more moments before she spoke.

“Kima, you were _brilliant_ -“

“Make you cum for Kiki, eh?”

Even in the pale moonlight, Allura’s red face shone.

“Yes, well…maybe this will teach her not to scry this late at night.” The smug look on Allura’s still-blushing face was something to behold.

It took Kima a moment to figure it out. Arcane stuff, after all. “So, wait. She…as you and I… _huh._ Well…not gonna lie, that’s hilarious. And kinda hot.”

Allura giggled. “So, you’re not opposed to having her watch us.”

“Eh, maybe if she’s nice, she can join in, too,” Kima said with a wink. “Didn’t you swear she had a crush on you a while back?”

More blushing. The wizard really didn wear her heart on her sleeve…or bare shoulder, in this case. “Only because I felt a bit of an emotional connection when we dual-scryed. And, if I’m honest, I might have gone for it…she’s absolutely gorgeous, Kima.”

“And awkward as sin.”

“But she’s probably a good fuck,” ended Allura matter-of-factly.

Kima guffawed at the audacity of her wife’s proclamation. “I don’t disagree. Maybe we’ll ask her one of these days.”

“I’d like that,” sighed Allura. She winked seductively at Kima. “Now, I do believe I owe you a massive favor…”

“Damn right, you do,” said Kima, standing up. “But…let’s do it inside. And this time, I’m doing the face-riding.”

“As you wish, Lady Kima of Vord~”

* * *

 

Allura unfurled the paper. News being delivered was a new phenomenon in Emon, but not an unwelcomed one, and it provides new reading material for breakfast. She skimmed the stories. Nothing out of the ordinary, just news about a new holiday to celebrate Vox Machina, and then…

**_MYSTERIOUS NOISES HEARD FROM IVORY TOWER_ **

_ARCANIST VYSOREN WAS SET TO RETURN SAME NIGHT_

“…motherfu-“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Allura can see invisible sensors. She's a powerful wizard.
> 
> On the next episode, Percy and Vex have it long and hard as they talk about a certain friend on one of their few nights off.


End file.
